Please Stop Talking About Jews
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006Dear Mel Gibson:
Please stop talking about Jews. Despite what you may have heard, Jews are not actually responsible for all the wars in the world. We do seem to often play a starring role, in fact, and while I assure you, Mr. Gibson, that we are very pleased about this and that it’s all part of a big conspiracy, the truth is that JEWS WOULD LIKE TO STOP BEING IN WARS. Can you comprehend that? On behalf of all my people, Mel Gibson, I assure you that we would like to stop being in wars.
Where are you from, Mel Gibson? Oh, got it — Australia, by way of Malibu. Yeah, I’m sure you know a lot about the real experience of war and racism and ethnic hatred. Go back to Moonshadow and have another margarita, asswipe.
There’s the dialogue with Jews you asked for.
Dear The Rest of the World:
Please stop talking about Jews. You may find this hard to believe, but Jews are just regular people. Really. Just regular people. Why is this so hard for everybody to believe? Why can nobody talk about the horrible war in the Middle East without whispering or making faces about “those Jews”? Why are Muslim schools and mosques still teaching children that Jews are mystically demonic? Can we please discuss this war without bringing in ancient mythology, and see if maybe we can’t come to some kind of resolution that way?
Fuck nations, and fuck religions. Israel is a place filled with people, Lebanon is a place filled with people, Palestine is a place filled with People, Iran is a place filled with people, North Korea is a place filled with people.
Everybody: can you please start getting over the fact that Jews exist in the world? And can we all please resolve to settle our differences with honor and find a way to peace, like now?
Sincerely,
Levi Asher
Queens, New York
